


Three Simple Rules for Spoiling Our Baby

by gamefish



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Baby Fic!, Drabble, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 04:16:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamefish/pseuds/gamefish
Summary: Inspired bythis classic,which somehow showed up on my Facebook feed last week. Worlds collide...Tried to find a gender-neutral French name, thinking ExR would want her to have some flexibility if she needed it, but Google was surprisingly unhelpful, so hopefully I was not out in left field with Michon.Unbeta'd. Blanket permission.Thanks all :)





	Three Simple Rules for Spoiling Our Baby

The thing about babies was that they grew fast. Their clothes were measured by months, and between all the growing and the mess-making, parents would be lucky if they lasted that long. Michon was just on the cusp of 3-6 months and 6-9 months, which meant that nothing really seemed to fit her. Plus, her summer clothes were too light and her winter clothes were, well...nonexistent. But if they bought them now, they’d be useless by January. Which is how Enjolras and Grantaire had ended up with a...uniquely attired child. 

All of their friends doted on Michon, but there were a few rules for buying presents for the youngest member of the Les Amis family. 

Nothing made in a sweatshop or in other unfair labor conditions.  
No creepy sexist messaging. Dolls were fine, trucks were fine, but no “too pretty to do math” onesies, please and thank you.  
Nothing that made noise that did not have an easily accessible off switch.

The nursery was filled with stuffed dragons from Eponine and board books from Bousset. Over her crib hung a moth mobile from Combeferre, and tucked on top of her dresser was a first aid kit put together by Joly. It was meant to go in the top drawer...but it didn’t quite fit. The bath toys were all from Musichetta, who had managed to find a rubber ducky wearing a French flag t-shirt that Grantaire knew Enjolras was going to steal for himself one of these days. Bahorel and Feuilly had built the rocking chair in the corner by hand, and Marius and Cosette had donated the changing table. Jehan and Courfeyrac had declared themselves in charge of Michon’s wardrobe in the beginning, but soon grew tired of rifling through racks of heteronormative onesies and dresses that were impossible to crawl in. So, they decided they would only be responsible for her “signature pieces.” All of this was watched over by a mural Grantaire had painted of “Madeline Leading the People.” In this case her people included Paddington Bear, Hermione Granger, and a very small Louis Antoine de Saint-Just hidden in the background behind all seven dwarves.

Her closet racks were rather empty, as most of her clothes didn’t really need to be hung up, except for her collection of Halloween costumes. There was an elephant onesie with a matching floppy-eared hat that had proven to be just a titch too small, but was too adorable to give away and was being held in trust for the new addition. Next to it was a glittery princess dress that was too scratchy to actually wear, but it was from Enjolras’ mom and so it couldn’t be disposed of until after her next bimonthly visit. And then there was the dinosaur collection. 

As part of their role as fashion godparents, Courfeyrac and Jehan had been crafting couture dinosaur outfits for Michon’s first Halloween. Initially it was just supposed to be one for the actual day of Halloween. But then, she needed another for the paper’s family Halloween party. And if one of those got dirty or sticky, there should be a backup. But then it had been too hard to choose between a pterodactyl and a triceratops, so they just had to make both. And then a stegosaurus, just because.

It really was too much, but it didn’t break any of the rules, and they were just so adorable, that Enjolras couldn’t complain. He just hung the next one up with the others as they were dropped off. 

During her first fitting--”NO PINS NEAR THE BABY, COURFEYRAC!”--it was clear that Michon loved them just as much as the rest of her family. She liked wiggling her big t-rex tail and making scary dinosaur sounds that made Uncle Joly fall over in terror. 

And honestly, they fit her better than most of her other clothes as this point. Not too warm, not too cool. And she didn’t giggle as much in any other clothes.

So that’s why most of October, Enjolras and Grantaire had a dinosaur for a daughter. Grantaire brought a fearsome velociraptor grocery shopping, and a tiny iguanodon joined the circle of children at storytime. Something apparently called a Micropachycephalosaurus made everyone’s day at the doctor’s office. 

Going for a walk in the middle of November with a rather short-necked apatosaurus got them some weird looks, and Enjolras may have gotten kicked out of a froyo joint due to a particularly snappy comeback. But at the end of the day, Michon, Grantaire, and Enjolras were happy and healthy--and part of an extended family that was ready to come when they called. 

____________________________________________________________________

“Enjolras, I’m happy to babysit, but building a barricade outside of a frozen yogurt shoppe seems a little much….Nope…. Yes…. I’m not saying that…. Yes, gender is a social construction.... No--I know that the capitalist heteropatriarchy demands--never mind. I’ll be right there.” Courfeyrac hung up the phone, grabbed a coat, and headed for the door. “Jehan, we need to go! We've got to save Enjolras from himself. Or at least rescue Mich from her ridiculous dads--Ooh! If we just whisk her away, solidarity be damned, we can fit her for her new dilophosaurus earmuffs!”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this classic,](http://idiopathicsmile.tumblr.com/post/111135342998/parenting-tip)  
> which somehow showed up on my Facebook feed last week. Worlds collide...
> 
> Tried to find a gender-neutral French name, thinking ExR would want her to have some flexibility if she needed it, but Google was surprisingly unhelpful, so hopefully I was not out in left field with Michon.
> 
> Unbeta'd. Blanket permission. 
> 
> Thanks all :)


End file.
